Don’t Keep it a Secret – Share Your Estate Plan With Your Loved Ones.
Many clients have a natural desire to keep all of their affairs private. I get it. I don’t want anyone in my business either. But, when it comes to your estate plan, that is not a good idea.
Do you know those movie scenes where the family all gather around the lawyer’s desk as he reads the will aloud to them for the first time? Oftentimes there is a stuck-up and entitled son who is shocked to learn that he is not inheriting the family fortune. Then the lawyer reads that the quiet grandson who actually spent time with the grandfather gets the 1969 Ford Mustang and everyone in the family starts fighting. It makes for a fun scene. But we are not in a movie, I am not an actor, and that is not how things should be done in the real world.
Most clients say that they want to make things simple and leave as little of a burden on their family as possible. Keeping your estate plan a secret is just asking for family fights once you are gone. Further, the people you name as your personal representative (executor) or trustee are going to have substantial responsibilities upon your death and it is not a good idea to dump all of that stress on them without notice. If your family and friends know their rights and responsibilities upon your passing in advance, that will be one less thing they have to worry about when you kick the bucket.
I am not saying that you must tell your kids the exact value of all your investment accounts! You can still keep your financial and medical information private. But, it may make sense for your kid who is working on the family farm to know whether or not he or she stands to inherit it. Or, if your kid is planning a family of their own it would be helpful for them to know whether they will be inheriting your home. It is important that anyone you have named as an executor, trustee, or power of attorney is aware of the responsibilities you have placed on them.
We all value our privacy, but let’s not try to create a dramatic movie scene that makes things more difficult for our loved ones. When we do trust-based estate planning, we offer a free meeting at the conclusion of our services that we call a “Family Summit” where we sit down with the kids, trustees, and anyone else that we think ought to know and tell them about our new estate plan. If we are doing simpler will-based estate planning, your kids are always welcome to attend the final signing meeting if you want them there or we can set up a call with your attorney to explain the plan to them.
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